


from people you know to people you don't

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Klaus Hargreeves Whump, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Protective Number Five | The Boy, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26632213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: klaus was a little much for everyone
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Klaus Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 6
Kudos: 225





	from people you know to people you don't

Klaus had pretty eyes.

He was pretty in general, but his emerald eyes were something to remember. They were always big and glowy; under his long, pretty eyelashes. Five wanted to cry, he knew that Klaus probably never had anyone to compliment on his eyes. He deserved that, he deserved someone telling him he was pretty and worthy, but he never had. Five knew the need of having someone, having someone to care about you, having someone to hold your hands when you need it. Five wondered if he could make his brother open his beautiful eyes again, so he could tell him how pretty they were.

He felt a tear running down to his left cheek. Allison was standing next to him, unable to do anything, crying his lungs out. “I heard a rumor, you were alive!” She yelled. She was newly getting her voice back, she should’ve been careful about it, but Five didn’t stop her. “Al? Did you just-“ Diego stopped immediately when he entered the room, eyeing two of his siblings with worry. “What are you doing in Ben’s room?”

They didn’t respond. Number Two walked in with shaky steps, freezing when he saw his little brother laying on their dead brother’s bed. His body was covered in blood, the dried tears on his face was visible. Diego closed his eyes. He wasn’t a stranger to the blood, there were countless nights he returned his place with bleeding bruises. He also had seen Klaus injured, so many times, and most of those times he didn’t even bother to ask him what happened. Diego knew that right now, he was helpless. There was nothing left for him to do. Klaus leaving his life wasn’t going to make a big difference for him actually, expect for the guilt he was probably going to feel everyday from then. Diego couldn’t kill the person who did this to his little brother. Klaus did this to himself; if Diego was there, he couldn’t, but that wasn’t the point. Diego being with Klaus today would stop Klaus from cutting himself today.

Then he could just do it tomorrow.

He knew that he couldn’t heal his brother in a day. He couldn’t heal him in a week. He needed to heal himself first, he needed to change all of his behaviours towards his brother. He needed to make him feel loved. He was sure that Klaus wouldn’t have killed himself if he knew he had someone to cry about him after he left. But he didn’t know, of course he couldn’t. Everyone in his life made Klaus feel like a liability, a worthless junkie that is just going to be forgotten, like he never existed. Diego sobbed.

Diego realised that all of his siblings were in the room when he opened his eyes, that there were only five of them left now. He held back a tear, tried to listen what they were speaking about. He was trying not to look at the corpse of his little brother. “Don’t act like you were better than us, ever! What would have you done if he failed? Let me tell you, you’d say it’s just for attention-“

“Please, shut up.” Allison whispered weakly. Also gave Luther a stare, unfortunately knowing that Vanya was right with what she said. She laid her eyes on her now dead brother again, with a pained expression on her face. “When did he get so skinny?” Klaus was always evidently skinnier than an average person, but his bloody wrists and his ribs that are visible even when under a sweatshirt looked sickly thin, like he could break all of his bones if he simply fell to the floor. “He said he loses his appetite when having withdrawals.” Vanya said quietly, her voice still not calmed down. “So he’s been having withdrawals for two months? I don’t remember seeing him in the kitchen once.” Luther said. “Also, he might’ve just relapsed again. That also keeps him from eating.”

Five breathed angrily as he heard Diego pull one of his knives out from his pocket. He kept staring at the lifeless body, thinking deeply. “I’ve got an idea but I want you to not freak out, don’t even breathe unless I tell you to as we do this.”

“Do what?” Luther said blankly. The boy didn’t look at him when he answered his question. “I’ve been practising a lot, it’s easier to go just by myself but I’ve never been so close to him, so you being there with me might be more comfortable for him. We’re going to stop him from killing himself, and afterwards, I want all of you to change your actions towards him. You understand? I don’t want him to do it again.”

They all stopped talking, moving, anything. The room was all silent and the scent of their brother’s blood was getting heavier as the seconds passed. Vanya looked like she was sick. She had thought of asking Five to do that but she expected her siblings to do it the second they saw Klaus. She didn’t want to be the one to ask about that. Five could’ve said that it was impossible, or they might’ve said that Klaus was meant to die.

No, none of them would say that. Klaus deserved much better than dying at 30, crying and all alone.

“Sure.”

“Okay, I’m in.”

“I can comfort him, he’ll listen to me.”

“Have you ever tried jumping with another people?” Vanya asked.

“Yes. It won’t be a problem. Are you all ready?” Five was nervous. It was Klaus’ ability to return people from death. Well, it wasn’t actually, he used to conjure them but what they were going to do still gave Five anxiety. He wasn’t ready to face Klaus. He wasn’t ready to see his beautiful greens again. He wanted that so much, but he wasn’t ready. He took a deep breath when they all looked at him, waiting for him to do it. He held Diego’s and Allison’s hands, then they took Vanya and Luther’s. They were ready to jump. Allison closed his eyes, and the next second they were in the hall. It was one hour before they found Klaus. Normally, they were just sitting all together and celebrating their second month after stopping the apocolypse.

Without anyone noticing Klaus wasn’t there.

They looked at each other, and they heard a noise from upstairs. Five shushed them. “Don’t make a sound.” They quietly made it to the upstairs with the youngest-looking in all of them leading. 

They heard a quiet crying coming from Ben’s room. Diego cursed. Klaus was talking to himself.

“I know you’d stop me if you were here, Benny. But you’re one of the reasons why I’m leaving anyways.” Klaus sniffled. They were all confused for a second, expect for Vanya, who got it right away. Then they did too.

Ben was really with Klaus, all of these years, just like Klaus told them. But they didn’t believe him. They saw their dead brother for the first time in years, but in the same night, Vanya explained them that Ben sacrificed himself to stop the apocolypse. That meant that Klaus was more alone than he already was in those two months.

“— I never realise you were so important to me. I’m sorry. I’m pathetic and useless when I’m by myself. I used to have you leading me, you probably stopped me from dying countless times, but this time you can’t. And no one’ll ever want me alive expect for you… They’ll probably find out that I’m dead a few weeks later. Just like how they didn’t realise I’m kidnapped and tortured for hours.” Klaus laughed while still crying. “You were the only one keeping me sane. Those ghosts wouldn’t stop screaming.”

Vanya saw tears reappearing in Diego’s eyes.

“I really thought they would invite me too. Well, they hadn’t seen me properly in weeks but still… I’m imagining you’re saying something right now Benny, like Five did to that mannequin.” Five faintly smiled. “But I think—“ He stopped with a cry. His voice sounded so vulnerable and broken, Five had never wanted to go and hug him someone more. Actually, Five had never wanted that. “I think this is the best, right Benny? I’m like a ghost anyways, I’ll have the chance to be with you and Dave, when I die. The only people who love me are dead, that’s so painful. I wish I was important.”

Allison had her hands around her mouth to keep herself from making a crying sound. She was disgusting, she knew that. Every sibling of hers were there when Vanya cut her throat. They waited for her to wake up, they were all so supportive. And Allison? Yeah, she was actually so nice and caring to her siblings too. Excluding Klaus, she sometimes forgot he existed.

“I’m too ugly to be worthy. I haven’t eaten in thirty-one days, I didn’t even have liquid calories, how can I still remain to be fat?” Diego kneeled down while rubbing his eyes. Klaus never used to take care of himself. He used to skip meals as a child too. It was so hard to accept that his little brother had an eating disorder (or maybe even multiple eating disorders), that he thought he was fat while he literally looked like a skeleton, Diego had never felt so helpless.

“I’m so tired, Ben. Being a disappointment, pretending like I’m happy and laid-back, being afraid of my own powers, not being taken seriously… Missing you, missing Dave, having flashbacks, the ghosts, my appereance… Everything feels so hard but I’m just probably being ungraceful anyways. Not everyone has to like me. I’m a side character that’s meant to die years ago.” Klaus chuckled. “I’m imagining that you’re telling me otherwise, Benny-boy. You’re telling me everything’s going to be alright.”

Those five minutes, only five minutes of hearing his younger brother’s weak voice and thoughts that they could never expect he had, had Five crying for the first time in years. He always thought Klaus was the most good-looking amongst them. Even after returning from the future, Klaus looked elegant to his eyes. His pretty face, pretty curls, pretty body (which was slowly being killed by his brother all this time), pretty voice… Five told Klaus that he was useless multiple times. He was a monster, he killed that child. He was responsible for Klaus’ suicide attempt, for all of his sick thoughts. He was a criminal for never telling him that he’s pretty, knowing that he has the most beautiful features on earth but never telling him.

Why did Five always tried to hide his emotions anyway? Like, what for? To keep his 58 year-old man who doesn’t want to be bothered by a bunch of useless teenagers look? Bullshit. If it was going to keep his brother from killing himself, he’d even let him call himself “little”. He’d do anything for him. He spent 45 years alone just to have his siblings back and now he was going to let Klaus think like this and leave him? No.

“I’m a liability. No Ben, stop saying that. I know you know that too.” Klaus’ voice sounded so small. Luther felt something inside him broke. “Would you really stick around me within all these people, if you had the chance?” Silence, only Diego sobbing to himself so quietly that’s impossible to be heard by Klaus. “You need to answer this yourself Benny. I’m coming soon.

Wow! Ich bin am Ende meiner Zeit in der Welt angelangt. That’s exciting.” He said with a fake sarcasm, the hidden sadness in his voice still there. “I wish someone just walked into the room and stopped me… No I don’t. I really want to die. I joked.” Vanya had goosebumps because yes, he had someone to stop him now but the first time, he didn’t. He died all alone. He tried so hard to get Vanya out of the mausoleum, she remembered that, but Vanya didn’t do anything that shows she was on his side. Because it was hard to say but she wasn’t. She was supportive of everyone but Klaus. She wrote disgusting things about him on her book which she exposed her family, she really mentioned on him like an unwanted fade thing. She thought she was going to throw up, heart beating so fast in her chest.

“I actually planned killing myself before.” His voice was so quiet, hard to hear. Maybe he doesn’t want to hear himself, Diego thought. “I’d take sleeping pills, like Marilyn Monroe. I love her. But that might make them think that I relapsed when they find me. I don’t want that. I’m sober, you know that.” Vanya shot Luther a glare, who was staring at the wall. “I’m going to cut myself. That’d make Diego proud.”

He’s not aware of what he’s saying right now, Diego repeated on his head. There’s no way he actually has thoughts like this. He knows I love him.

He knows? How could he know? Did Diego even know, or act like he loved his brother before he was dead? He wouldn’t go to sign things to get Klaus out of the rehab, when the hospital called him. He’d decline every call about Klaus. Why? Because he was too focused on impressing people, improving that he’s a real ‘hero’? He wasn’t. He simply wasn’t. He saved everyone expect for his small brother, the person who actually ever needed his help.

There was a thing that they all knew, that Klaus was so thirsty for a little affection. A little attention. A little care. He probably wouldn’t kill himself if one of them interacted with him that day. Because he didn’t actually want to die. He still wanted to be loved, but he felt like he didn’t deserve to be loved and he deserved to die. Number Five’s chest hurt. They never thought Klaus to be an overthinking person; he was extroverted, he was loud, he’d overshow it if he had a little pain, he’d complain about it for days. That’s what they used to think. But Klaus didn’t say anything about being tortured, he never told anyone about losing his lover in Vietnam, being a soldier in a war that wasn’t even related to his life (maybe he stayed there to stay away from the people who made him feel worthless), being locked in a mausoleum when he was a little child, seeing and hearing ghosts all the time (apparently they knew that they looked scary and that they were so loud) feeling like a liability, the hunger he felt when he starved himself… So many things. Klaus had went through things that are too hard for a person to handle, and he didn’t say a single thing. He pretended like he was okay, he got high to hide his pain. And they pretended like it was the end of the world for him to use drugs. 

“Should I- Should I leave a note? No, no I’m sorry. I’m being ridiculous. Please stop screaming. I’m trying to focus.”

“Should we go in now?” Luther whispered. Vanya shushed him but looked at the others curiously.

“I love pain anyways. Crimson is a sexy colour.” Klaus murmured. It was his way of relieving himself, making unnecessary jokes in tragedic situations. “I’m going in, you wait here.” Five said. Diego seemed to protest but he nodded. They moved to the side as Five opened the door. The boy saw his younger brother flinch. He tried not to sound sad as he walked in. Klaus’ eyes were red and puffy, pouty lips opening in surprise. He looked so, so small and that had Five cursing inside in his head. He hated everything Klaus had to go through, he hated himself for not being there. He tried to concentrade. He was here now. Klaus wasn’t covered in blood, he was still breathing. Big, emerald eyes were staring right at Five’s so scaredly. 

“Hey Klaus.” said Five, making himself sound professional. “What are you doing here in Ben’s room?” He arched his eyebrows slightly.

“Oh, just—“ Don’t think about his weak voice, Five. Don’t think about how he looked earlier. “Thinking about all those good old memories, missing my ghost brother hours.”

“Well I was hoping to see you downstairs, Klaus. You’re isolating yourself from us, you don’t even show up to the dinners.” I think I messed up right now, thought Five. But Klaus didn’t protest, looking at his own hands.

Five changed his plan. “What are those?” He moved closer to Klaus, which made the younger boy flinch again. “These? We- Me and Ben used to have a thing with razors and-“

“Klaus, you don’t have to pretend. Not anymore.” Five sat next to him. It was an unusual feeling, he’d never hold anyone so close since they were children. But he knew that Klaus needed his affection, he had to be a good brother. He also needed to touch him aas well, he didn’t want to hold himself anymore. Klaus’ eyes were shining with reappearing tears, Five knowingly smiled. “Put them down. Come here.” He took Klaus into his arms as the curly haired boy put the razors on the floor hesitantly. He was shocked but he knew that five heard him. An arm around his waist, one caressing his soft hair slightly.

“You don’t have to do this, I wasn’t serious about what I said-"

“Shh. Close your eyes.” He said calmly while he patted his back. Those things were really unfamiliar to him, but he felt himself find comfort too. His brother was safe, he was alive, Five still had a chance to tell him that his eyes were pretty. Klaus started crying loudly as he expected. He kept running his hand up and down to the younger’s back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I’m so weak.”

Five wasn’t good with his words, he just held him tighter while measuring what could he say to his brother. He knew that healing him was going to take a long time, getting Klaus’ trust back again themselves wasn’t going to be easy. They truly failed him. Even if he didn’t committed suicide, he looked like he could die from anorexia. He said he water fasted for a month? That was showing, his brother was sickly thin and Five was at a loss. Klaus didn’t stop crying for the next few minutes. Then, Diego came into the room.

He’d actually planned his words at his head, he was going to say something that was going to show that he didn’t know what’s going on there and he came in for the group hug, but he couldn’t find himself saying anything. His brother who cut himself an hour ago was now alive, safe, looking tiny in his 13 year-old brother’s hold, crying. Diego couldn’t find himself do anything. He just stared at them, and he sat onto their dead brother’s bed like the other two and asked. “May I join you?” He thought he was going to stutter, but he didn’t.

He couldn’t care less, if he did.

Klaus didn’t say anything but Five shared a look with him, letting the bigger male hug them both. Klaus was sandwhiched in between, he’d stopped crying and he had so many questions in his head. Did Diego hear him too? Did they all hear how pathetic he was, they all knew that he was going to kill himself and they felt guilty? They were just going to disappear after they made sure Klaus didn’t cut himself, aren’t they? They’d just probably remove all of the sharp things out of sight and then leave. Maybe he should say that he needs to use the restroom and then break the mirror and cut himself with that or just leave the house causally and jump off the cliff and die? Why did they have to come right now? Would they make him eat forcefully? Klaus couldn’t break his fast. Were they going to send him back to rehab? He didn’t like there. 

Or none of them just wouldn’t do anything, abandon Klaus like they always did.

How stupid of Klaus to think that they were going to care about Klaus. They might even want to send him back to the streets now. No, they couldn’t do that. Klaus didn’t even go out of his room, he didn’t hurt them? If he went back to the streets, his old dealers could easily find and hurt him? But that would be easier than to stay home because Klaus didn’t want to survive, he would let them kill him and then everyone would be happy.

“Klaus! Klaus… Calm down. You’re okay.” He heard Diego say. They were laying down, since when? He was spooned by Diego and Five wasn’t even in the sight.

Just like how he thought.

“Klaus. Look at me.” The smaller male turned around to face his brother. His face was on Number Two’s chest, so he needed to lift his head. “That’s good. Now breathe and out. Slowly, alright?” Klaus did what he told as he stilled his look into his eyes. Diego spoke again. “You’re safe and I’m never letting you go again.”

Was that a dream? That wasn’t what Klaus deserved. He deserved doors slamming on his face when he wanted to tell someone about his day, or how many days he’d stayed sober. He wasn’t used to anyone being welcoming to him and now he had Diego.

He’s just doing this because he feels guilty. Of course he’s going to let you go, like how he did his whole life. He’ll be disappointed in you soon. He’ll accept the fact that you’re useless, he’s going to say it into your face like Five did.

Five left him and a few minutes later, Diego’s going to leave him too. He’ll be cold and alone in his ghost brother’s bed, telling him things that he could never hear. He’ll imagine that Ben’s comforting him but in reality, he’ll be speaking to the empty walls. “You’re lying.”

Diego looked panicked. “I’m not, I swear! I-I’m sorry for not being there for you Klaus. But I’m never leaving again. I’m not lying.”

Klaus looked thoughtful. Then he decided to enjoy that moment. He always wanted someone to talk to him (someone who wasn’t a ghost), someone hugging him was like a dream. Only worthy people had people on their side and Klaus wasn’t one of them. Yet, Diego was telling him comforting this. He had Klaus laying on his chest, like a big brother. He was speaking softly to him like he did to the people in his life that he appreciated. Klaus’ eyes watered again. “Okay.” He murmured, that was all he could manage to say and he tried to sleep. He knew that there’d be no one when he woke up, Diego’d be in his room or with their other siblings again, so he had to had his moment. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Diego’s masculine scent filled his lungs, and he tried to sleep. He made himself smaller on the bed and listened to Diego’s steady breathing.

A few minutes later, Luther awkwardly walked in, opened his arms and yelled. “Good morning!” Klaus jumped and Diego shot Number One a deadly glare, “He was just falling asleep!” He said. The moment Klaus’ head got heavier on his chest, stupid Luther walked in. He seemed to be sad. “I’m sorry. It’s been two hours and I thought you’d like to have dinner.” 

Diego realised that he hated every single thing on earth when he saw the expression on his green-eyed brother’s face change as he heard the word ‘dinner’. He snuggled into Diego without knowing he did that. Luther eyed them hesitantly. “Okay, we can have dinner later or maybe we just don’t have dinner today, that’s also an option.” He added. He was still screwing up but he was never this nice to Klaus so Diego looked a little impressed. “Have a room for me on that bed?”

“I’m not sure, Luther-“ 

“Yes.” Klaus said quietly and then looked at Diego.

“Okay then, maybe I’ll leave and you’ll sleep with Luther-“

“No!”

“Hey, okay, don’t worry. I think we all can fit here.” 

Luther felt sad. He wouldn’t even look into their eyes if he was at Klaus’ situtation and he seemed to forgive them. He trusted them already and that was not okay. He tried to move slowly but the whole bed shook when he laid there too. But they fitted since it was a double size bed. Klaus didn’t take up much space, like a quarter person. Luther didn’t look like he knew what to do so he just placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder. A few minutes later, they heard their brother’s breaths getting heavier and his body relaxing. Diego was almost going asleep too when he saw Five jumped across the room. He looked annoyed at him.

“Good. I didn’t think he’d want Luther in here.”

“Well maybe he’s just not as cruel as you.” whispered Luther. Five shrugged. “Whatever. I’m glad he’s now calmed. Should we call a family meeting? I’m not sure he’ll want to talk about these either,” He said the last sentence because Diego seemed to protest, “But we have to. Everyone has to apologise. I- We all have to change ourselves.” Diego slightly nodded, not wanting to wake his brother up who finally found peace.

“Also I need to tell something to him, in private, when he wakes up.” He jumped again.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not a native english speaker so i'm sorry for the mistakes i've probably done 🥺  
> i hope you like it xx


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